Bad-Dragon Toy Review *WARNING ADULTS ONLY*

Oh, hey there guys! Glad to see you back!

So, today, we’re trying yet another new thing. I’m going to review an adult fantasy toy I recently acquired. Why, you ask? Well, because there was interest.

My foray into the adult fantasy toy world started as research for paranormal creature cock. Yep, you read that right. I write Sci-Fi, Paranormal, and fantasy…There are some monsters, and aliens, and I needed inspiration. So! That’s where this whole things started.

However, I’ve now developed a liking for the pretty colors and unique textures that fantasy toys seem to have. I’ll admit it, I have a habit of collecting things. Pretty much anything that strikes my fancy. Right now, it’s fantasy peen. XD

So, here’s the official warning.


Ok, so lets get started!

Today, I bring you a frighteningly handsome model from Bad-Dragon

click photo to be taken to the bad-dragon site

If you haven’t heard of them before, bad dragon is an adult fantasy toy site that specializes in all sorts of fantastic creatures and monsters. No normal dildos here, guys.

They have a wide range of products including dildos, wearables, vibrators, squirting toys, masturbators, and lots of cute accessories and merchandise.

Now, I’ll be honest, I’ve been looking at this site for years. I don’t even remember what first led me to their door, but the cost always held me at bay.

HOWEVER. I finally took the plunge this year (because I’m doing research for a book :coughcough:) and purchased my first toy from bad-dragon.

The model I chose is one named Crackers.

Crackers is described as being a cockatrice. A cockatrice is a mythological animal that looks like a cross between a reptile or dinosaur and a bird. Sometimes it looks like a rooster, sometimes more majestic, depending on the artist. Now, I know there was a lot of legacy art when this company first came out, but I’m having trouble finding any artwork for Crackers. However, in my head, I picture him looking something like this ->

art by Dan Dussault on deviantart

However, I did find this piece online. I’m not sure if it’s a fanart piece, or an official image. The peen definitely looks right, but I can’t find much info about it otherwise.

Credit to artist (uknown)

Here’s his official blurb from the bad-dragon website:


The showstopper of the bunch, Crackers is hardly shy about his appearance. With an intricately designed tip to a stunningly detailed shaft and base, this is one pecker that you’ll always want to display proudly. Its pointed, detailed tip tickles as you insert it or use it externally to tease your most sensitive areas. Once deep inside, you’ll notice its textured shaft provides ample sensation and its girth creates a nice, full feeling. Bulging out and tapering back in allows you to leave the toy inside for some hands-free fun. Its sturdy, substantial base is coated in texture of its own for additional external stimulation and maneuverability. Crackers is well suited for anal and vaginal use as well as clitoral stimulation and depth-play. With its strong base, adding a suction cup makes for a fun, rideable addition to your new toy.

His site ‘glamour shot’

Crackers is available in five sizes (there is also a mini, but it isn’t shown here), as seen below

I decided on a Medium, because apparently I have the same problem with sex toys that I do with food….My eyes are bigger than my stomach. Or in this case, well… You get the picture. When you see his photos below, you’re going to wonder (just like I did) how anyone other than an elephant can use that extra large….

Crackers comes in a wide variety of color options. The company offers monthly ‘special’ color combos, and each mold has a signature color as well. Many combinations of solid, gradient, and marble colors can be chosen as well. They all cost extra though, so pay close attention to the pricing structure when your playing with color mockups (the site allows you to see an example of what your choices might look like with a 3D render)

He also comes with a variety of firmness options. Depending upon the size of the toy, this definitely comes in handy, I’m sure. Get a big ol’ boy and it won’t be able to hold itself up as well in soft firmness as it might be able to in medium or firm

Without further adieu, lets get to the pictures, shall we?


Now, I didn’t think to take pictures as I opened it. I was too damned excited. So! I’ll just have to describe it. First, it was packaged in a simple brown box, with no company logos anywhere on the outside of the package. It was addressed from an individual. Very discreet. When I opened the package I found it wrapped in brown packing paper, making the fit snug so he didn’t bounce around in the box during his trip. The toy itself was sealed in a nice cellophane type bag with the logo emblazoned on one side and a clear window on the other. He came with a little care sheet card, which features all of the company info on the other side that you would need to find them on social media. All in all, I’d give packaging 9/10.


When they said Crackers was a show-stopper, they weren’t kidding. This guy is beautiful.

The narrowest part of his shaft, and I still can’t touch fingers
The widest part of the shaft, and there is no hope of getting my hand all the way around it.
I ordered the suction cup base… You know…. For reasons. It costs extra but it’s worth it.
Just chillin’, hangin’ out on the wall. The suction is very strong. Good and sturdy.
This boy has texture for dayssssssss.
So. Many. Textures.
One of my favorite pics…I love the little vein running up the underside of the shaft.


Rating – 10/10

That probably seems generous, but I absolutely cannot find a single thing to complain about with this guy. I chose a medium texture, which gives him a weighty, realistic feel. He’s got a little give, but he stands firm just like a real cock would. He stands up well on his own, even when not suctioned down. As an artist, the color work on this guy just astounds me. The gradient fade is so beautiful, and all the tiny little areas of texture are accented with subtle color to highlight them as well.

His sculpt is lovely and creative, and I have no trouble believing this cock belongs to some kind of magical creature I haven’t seen before.

He was a bit costly, which I was initially concerned about. However, after handling him, I can see that he is of a much higher quality and craftsmanship than anything you can purchase in a store. He seems sturdy and durable, and all though I’m doubtful that I can use him based on my miscalculation with the size choice, he is just stunning, and I’m not sorry I purchased him.

It took about three and a half months to receive him. They do warn about wait times on their site. I also collect ball jointed fantasy dolls so I’m accustomed to the wait (they sometimes take as many as six or seven months), so it didn’t bother me. It’s just something to be mindful of if you are looking to get it by a certain date.

They do offer a clearance section of pre-made toys that are ready to ship, so that may be a good option if you can’t stand to wait.

Overall, I think he is the most stunning cock I’ve ever seen. A real work of art.

And omg, do you see what I mean about the size? WHO USES THAT XTRA LARGE YOU GUYS? WHO? I’m so jelly. Well, I’m jelly they have a beautiful crackers of that size….Not that they can use him functionally. XD

He’ll definitely provide some fantasy worthy inspiration for character peen in the future…I can tell you that right now.

If you haven’t already, you need to head on over to the bad-dragon site and check out the amazingly creative selection of toys they have! You won’t be disappointed.

click the photo to visit the site

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